Love And Anger The Parental Dilemma Pdf Merge
Inter-parental child abduction is a serious problemconsidering that it induces life-long psychological damage to the tendermind of the abducted child. Of the 1.1 Billion Indians, about 30 million are Non- Resident Indians (NRIs) constituting the largest diaspora in 130 nations across the world.
The high number and volume statistics show an immense potential for free cross border movement of NRIs. This conversely has given rise to new dimensions of inter-country family oriented disputes.Inter-Parental Child Abduction is one such emerging problem which defies legislative solution in India. Unresolved interparental custody conflicts of children have recently generated parallel conflicting legal proceedings in different jurisdictions without any resolution at either end.
A British police appeal in the international media for tracing a missing ten year old Indian girl and another recent Supreme Court order directing the CBI to trace a young boy shows the alarming nature of the problem which defies the resolution in Indian law. INTER-PARENTAL CHILD REMOVAL Although the Indian legal system treats inter and intra-state child abduction in India as a crime, Inter-Parental Child Removal across international borders is not defined in any Indian legislation and is not specified as an offence under any statutory law. The problem is compounded by the fact that India is not a signatory to the Hague Convention on Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction 1980, which is signed by 80 countries worldwide. Hence, inter-parental child custody conflicts are invariably decided by Indian courts supposedly on the principle of the welfare of the abducted child as being the paramount consideration, and can take an average of 8 years by which time the child attains majority during his/her illegal detention in India. The abducted child is generally a foreign citizen by birth and the abductor could be an Indian citizen or a foreign citizen, and there may be pre-existing custody orders from competent courts in the child’s country of habitual residence. The prerogative writ of Habeas Corpus as a expedient remedy is thus consistently invoked being the most effective, emergent and efficacious one to a distressed parent whose child has been removed to India from foreign borders or vice-versa.
Love And Anger The Parental Dilemma Pdf Merger
The foreign court custody order forms the basis of invoking this extra-ordinary constitutional remedy. A case law analysis reveals that till 1997, Indian courts perpetually exercised a power of summary return of a removed child to the country of habitual residence in Compliance with a foreign court order to restore parental rights of an aggrieved parent. However, from 1998 onwards, the Supreme Court has held that a custody order of a foreign court shall be only one consideration while determining the matter on merits where the welfare of the child principle will be the clinching factor.
Resultantly, whenever any Habeas Corpus petition seeks summary return of an abducted child to a foreign country, the court invariably opines that it needs further determination by requiring evidence to be led by warring spouses, and the parties are relegated to conventional court custody proceedings. Because of the huge backlog of cases in the Indian courts, a protracted, time consuming, expensive and tedious custody petition results, and the unfortunate removed child is fought over as a trophy to be won in a battle of egos of one or both litigating parents. Sometimes, the love and affection of the abducted child is hijacked by the abductor with a psychological disorder to such an extent that the child’s tender mind gets permeated with ill-will towards the other parent who for no fault is denied access to his loved one. GENESIS OF THE PROBLEM The world is a far smaller place now than it was a decade ago. Inter-country and inter- continental travel is easier and more affordable than it has ever been.
The corollary to this is an increase in relationships between individuals of different nationalities and from different cultural backgrounds. Logistically, the world in which we and our children live has grown immensely complex.
It is filled with opportunities and risks. International mobility, opening up of borders, cross-border migration and dismantling of inter-cultural taboos have many positive traits but are fraught with a new set of risks for children caught up in cross-border situations. Trapped in the cross fire of broken relationships with ensuing disputes over custody and relocation, the hazards of international abduction loom large over the chronic problems of maintaining access or contact internationally with the uphill struggle of securing cross frontier child support.
DIRE NEED TO CLEAR THE MESS With the increasing number of NRIs abroad and multiple problems arising leading to family conflicts, inter-parental child removal to India now needs to be resolved on an international platform. It is no longer a local problem. The phenomenon is global. Most of the inter-parental child abductions from the UK, Australia, Canada and the USA are to India.
It is a matter of national shame that India has acquired the dubious distinction of being classed a safe haven for perpetuators of international inter-parental child abduction. Steps have to be taken by joining hands globally to resolve these conflicts through the medium of courts interacting with each other. Until India become a signatory to the Hague Convention, this may not be possible.
The time has now come where it is not possible for the Indian courts to stretch their limits to adapt to different foreign court orders arising from different jurisdictions. It is equally important that to create a uniform policy of law some clear, authentic and universal child custody law is enacted within India by adhering to the principles laid down in the Hague Convention.
Divergent views emerging at different times may not be able to cope up to the rising number of such cases, which come up from time to time for interpretation. We, in India are thus wanting for an expeditious acceptance and implementation of the International principles of inter-parental child removal which are couched in the Hague Convention. Today, removal of children across borders has also acquired a dual carriageway dimension.
Earlier, cases of foreign children brought to India against parental consent were common citations. Now, the reverse is also true and child removal from India makes it a two way street. How would Indian courts deal with situations when Indian children were removed to foreign jurisdictions in violation of local court orders or parental wishes?
Which law would apply and how would it extend to a foreign country? Clearly, there is no international legal instrument that can be invoked and the only remedy with the aggrieved parent would be to invoke the national law of the foreign country where the child is wrongfully retained.
Though, it is easier said than done, visa formalities, traveling expenses, litigation costs and above all foreign court procedures would be insurmountable deterrents. Such a problem would defy solutions and workable remedies. UNIVERSAL CONCERN Be that as it may, the universal solution to both domestic and international problem of our global NRI community in the matter of inter-parental child conflicts cannot be resolved on a universal platform until India becomes a part of the global family of contracting countries who are signatories to the Hague Convention. There was an Indian endeavour to do so by the framing of a Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction Bill, 2007. But, alas, it was never tabled before the Parliament and it never saw the light of the day.
India cannot be a beneficiary of an international conclave unless it joins the table with the convention countries by acceding to the Convention. We now need a new synergy, a motivated effort and a commitment to the cause of the removed child to shape a law to prevent the unfortunate removal of children. The child should not suffer. A law must be put in place forthwith for the cause of the child. HOSTILE AGGRESSIVE PARENTING AND PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME: AN OVERVIEW Dr. Agarwal Chairman (Pediatrics), Lawrence Hospital, New York Dr.
Anita Nischal MD,Womens Healthcare Pavillion and Former Professor,Wagner College, New York Hostile Aggressive Parenting (HAP) is a pattern of behaviour, manipulation, actions or decision-making of a parent that either directly or indirectly creates undue difficulties in the relationship of a child with the other parent; and/or promotes or maintains an unwarranted unfairness or inequality in the parenting arrangements between the child’s parents; and/or promotes ongoing and unnecessary conflict between parents which adversely affects the parenting, well-being and rearing of a child. HAP is most apparent in child-custody disputes and is used most often as a tool to align the child with one of the parents during litigation over custody or control of the child. Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is an abnormal psychological condition in a child which adversely impacts the child’s relationship with a (target) parent in a number of clearly identifiable and dysfunctional ways and the causes of the disorder can be reasonably traced back to the actions, behaviours and decision-making of a person(s) who are interfering with the child’s relationship with the (target) parent. It is one of the most damaging outcomes affecting children as a result of exposure to HAP. The most common symptom of children affected by PAS is their severe opposition to contact with one parent and/or overt hatred toward such parent when there is little and often, no logical reason to explain the child’s behaviour. The effects of PAS can last well into adulthood and may last for a lifetime with tragic consequences. PAS is usually related to highly litigious court cases where there is a “destroy to win or the end justifies the means”mentality.Alienating parents are driven by the overriding need for power, influence, domination and control.
They have no internal conflict, because they truly believe they are right. If a problem arises, it is always someone else’s fault. Alienating parents find it easy to misuse the law because some family courts do not use mental health experts to assess the psychological underpinnings. If psychological evaluations are conducted on the alienating parent, they often reveal the “borderline, narcissistic, or hysterical personality” disorder. Although they may know how to act the part, they do not have empathy, sympathy or compassion for others. Unlike rational people, they do not distinguish between telling the truth and lying.Alienating parents know that sanctions of fines, jail time, or community service are seldom applied to those held in contempt of visitation orders and hence cases are dragged for years.
This jeopardizes the child’s relationship with the target parent, and allows the alienating parents the advantage to continue alienating. The emotional cost of PAS is excessive to the target parent. Legal intervention is a must to remove the alienated child from the custody of the alienating parent, set boundaries for the alienating parent, and have the alienated child deprogrammed by a child psychologist.Without legal intervention, alienated children lose their ability and free will to make rational choices over their lives, experience serious psychiatric disorders, have poor social relationships, and of course pass the problem on to their children. Dr Roma Kumar Clinical Psychologist, Sir Ganga RamHospital (Delhi) “Nothing stirs up passions more than tile controversy generated when parents are at war over the custody of a child.” The parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. It’s primary manifestation is the child's campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent's indoctrinations and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the target parent. Basically, this means that through verbal and non-verbal thoughts, actions and mannerisms, a child is emotionally abused (brainwashed) into thinking that the other parent is the enemy.
PAS is more than brainwashing or programming, because the child has to actually participate in the denigrating of the alienated parent. This is done in primarily the following eight ways: (i) The child denigrates the alienated parent with foul language and severe oppositional behavior.
(ii) The child offers weak, absurd, or frivolous reasons for his or her anger. (iii) The child is sure of him or herself and doesn't demonstrate ambivalence. Love and hate for the alienated parent, only hate. (iv) The child exhorts that he or she alone came up with ideas of denigration. The 'independent-thinker' phenomenon is where the child asserts that no one told him to do this. (v) The child supports and feels a need to protect the alienating parent. (vi) The child does not demonstrate guilt over cruelty towards the alienated parent.
(vii) The child uses borrowed scenarios, or vividly describes situations that he or she could not have experienced. (viii) Animosity is spread to the friends and/or extended family of the alienated parent. The most common pattern of the mother is to show that ‘she is in control’. She will do that in a variety of ways ranging from ignoring the father to humiliating him.
Paradoxically she is able to do it on the basis that the father loves his child so much he will put up with it. In most cases, the mothers do not take the children away with any clear cut strategy in mind, it is usually an extension of normal hostile reactions going through the sequence of: (1) Arguing (2) Hostile silence (3) Restricted communication (4) No communication (5) Hostile action A PAS mother cannot imagine that the father is capable of planning the child's time while in his care. The mother may even decree whom the child can and can’t see, particularly specific members of the child's extended family on the father's side.
The mother desperately wants control over the time when the child is not with her. Obviously, without anyone to stop the alienation from progressing, the child will become estranged from the alienated parent. The relationship with this parent will eventually be severed.
It is doubtful that, without psychological intervention as the child grows, he or she will ever understand what happened. Many of these children come to experience e serious psychiatric problems. Children who have been psychologically violated and maltreated through the act of parental alienation, are more likely to exhibit a variety of psychological and social handicaps. They can be depressed, have a loss of community, loss of stability, security and trust, have excessive fearfulness, loneliness, anger, helplessness, poor identity formation and a fear of abandonment. Attachment is the deep and enduring connection established between a child and caregiver in the first few years of life.
It profoundly influences every component of the human condition: mind, body, emotions, relationships, and values. Children who lack permanence in their lives often develop a “one-day-at-a-time” perspective of life, which affects appropriate development of the cognitive-behavioral chain: thoughts, feelings, actions, choices and outcomes.Above all, children who have been denied access to one parent and have been brainwashed or parentally alienated cannot and should not be asked for their preference of which parent they want to stay with, since they will not be able to express their true feelings and would always answer in favor of the alienating parent.